Living with Contentment

By Samir Jamil, MD

Being content (or not) is all about emotions. Emotionally sensitive people react to events quickly and with intense feeling. They have difficulty in getting their emotional reactions to go away. Finding ways to manage emotions effectively can minimize the non-physical pain they experience. This article offers a few suggestions and strategies to minimize worries and live contently. These strategies below are not in the order of their significance.

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness helps reduce anxiety and stress for everyone. Consider a way to practice mindfulness every day that is easy to remember (mindfully brush your teeth or mindfully drink your coffee). The point is action with intention. Consider using a bracelet or a sticky note to remind yourself.

Relax, be in control. Find a way to laugh today (dance, watch a comedy, run in the park, buy a balloon, dabble with paint). Stay focused on what is in your control. Attempting to control other people or events creates anxiety, anger, and feelings of helplessness. It is enough work to control our own actions; you cannot control others’.

Practice gratitude. Each evening, go through your day and list three things you are grateful for. Be specific, then focus on those three experiences or interactions or things and appreciate the positive.

Nurture relationships. Some friends will make you angry or upset, but having friendships is one of the keys to contentment. When you spend time with friends, focus on what you like, and what energizes you. Review the positive experiences in your mind. Pick your friends carefully.

Give up your attachment to outcomes. Being too attached to certain outcomes, living in a certain way, or fixating on a certain solution limits you and leads to suffering. Try to be open to what comes.

Learn something new. You don’t have to choose something difficult. Learn a little about another culture, read a magazine about a hobby you know nothing about, cook a new dish, or play a new game.

Let go of urgency. Sometimes we feel urgent about everyday tasks. Be mindful, let go of urgency when it is not a 911 situation. Slow down, breathe, and take small steps.

Accept imperfections. Life is messy and imperfect. Striving for perfection that does not exist crushes joy and contentment.

Stop comparing. Comparing is a way of evaluating and judging ourselves and others. At times and wrongly, we compare ourselves to someone else who we see as superior to us (a way of competing).

Get out-of-the-box. Having a big family get together, watching movies with friends, or focusing on a spiritual journey are examples of activities that may be helpful.

Notice what works and what you are doing right. It is easy to overlook what goes right. When you are feeling upset, it is difficult to problem solve or think of what actions might help. Keeping a list of what works for you could be a key good for coping successfully.

Practice self-compassion. Calling yourself names is punishment, and we all know that punishment does not work. Accept yourself in kindness.

Identify your values. Living in ways that are inconsistent with your values causes stress and unhappiness. So, make choices whenever you can that reflect your values.

Think of loved ones. Think of the people who love you no matter what. Think of the people who love you as part of your team and remember that they are there to support you.

Under-react. Sometimes we just do not need to react. This does not mean under-feeling, minimizing, denying, or suppressing, but just letting events be.

Relax your body. Practice brief deep breathing and slow exhaling. A relaxed body sends a safety message to the mind; a tense body says there is danger.

Remember your positive qualities. If you are not sure, ask those who are close to you.

Ask yourself what you can give to others. Helping others can be simply smiling at someone, giving a cup of coffee, giving clothes to a shelter, or giving time to a child. We are all part of the same community, and we all need help.

Commitment. Take one small step and commit to success in what is important to you. Having a small success builds hope and belief in yourself. Having purpose and meaning adds to your sense of well-being.

Learn to solve problems. Everyone meets problems at certain times in our lives. But being able to manage your life can bring self-contentment and satisfaction.

Practice willingness. Say yes to LIFE. Yes, to being part of this universe. No matter how disconnected you may feel, you are part of the whole. You belong. Accept the changes that come with life.

See the beauty of the world. Notice the sunsets, the mountains in the fog, children playing, etc. Beauty is all around us and everywhere, but we often do not see it.

Man asked GOD, give me everything to enjoy life. GOD replied, I have given LIFE to enjoy everything.