Hacks for Working Moms to Enhance Work/Life Balance

BY DANIELLE ALEXANDER

In 2015 I made the difficult decision to leave my position as a high school English and journalism teacher and opened a tutoring, editing and freelance writing business in hopes of having a better work/life balance, especially as a brand new mother. Although there are days– and even weeks– where I still feel unbalanced, the following four hacks seem to save me (and, as a result, my family) time and time again:

Plan a week in advance
Since becoming a mom, Friday afternoons have become my planning day. My husband and I have a shared Google Calendar, so I dedicate a chunk of my Fridays (sometimes even with a cup of uninterrupted coffee!) going day-by-day for seven days, ensuring there are no schedule conflicts, uncovered childcare needs or unpurchased birthday party presents or classroom party supplies; if there are, I like knowing that I have the weekend to take care of it all. I will schedule my barre classes, family activities, play dates for the kids and, most importantly, the couple of hours I plan to escape for a bit and either get caught up on work or do something for me.

My husband and I do not meal prep per se, but we do plan meals. Looking at the Google Calendar, I make a list of how many meals we’ll need that week and think about what recipes would be good for our weekly schedule (and food intolerances), so I know what I need to buy at the grocery store. However, many moms, such as Melissa Kakoz of Farmington Hills, have found success in preparing meals in advance. 

“I utilize the days I don’t go to the office to do a lot of meal prepping and cooking, so on my busier days, I have less to do,” Kakoz said. “I’ll stock up the fridge with cut-up fruits and veggies, so meals are taken care of for many days. I also try to multitask on the days I’m meal prepping and make sure laundry is going, as well.”

Set and maintain routines
From the time my children were born, 8 p.m. has been their bedtime. My husband usually arrives home from work between 6 and 6:30 p.m., so the 8 p.m. time gives him a decent stretch to visit with the kids while also providing him and me with some time to ourselves before bedtime.

In addition to a consistent bedtime, my two-year-old son is in his crib by 1 p.m. daily for his nap, and when my four-year-old daughter is not at school, she takes quiet time in her room for an hour. With so much of my work being remote, I need to know the exact times each day I’ll be able to schedule my online meetings and phone interviews. Plus, it’s good for all of us (especially me) to be by ourselves for a while and recharge.

Janelle Mansour Barnes of Bloomfield Hills said routines are not limited to sleep times.

“Routines give kids a sense of stability and security and ultimately helps alleviate stress for everyone,” Barnes said. “It’s important to also find time and set a routine for ‘you time’ as a working mother, which can feel impossible. My time is often as early as 5 a.m., which is the only time I feel like I’m not taking time away from family.”

When present, actually be present
Working moms are pulled in so many directions, and, as sad as it sounds, sometimes playing with our kids can seem like wasted time since our plates always feel so full. I can’t tell you how frustrated my children get when I’m trying to answer work emails while we are watching a movie together or how sad they are when I’m folding laundry versus playing Guess Who? with them.

A friend once told me about her hour “on” and hour “off.” When she’s off work, she spends a good chunk of time, technology-free, being really present with her kids. This could be out somewhere fun or just at home in the playroom. Then, after some quality bonding, she sets the kids up with an activity that requires only facilitation (coloring, an obstacle course, Play-Doh, etc.), so that while her children are immersed in it, she doesn’t feel as guilty about vacuuming, packing lunches, replying to text messages or putting dishes away.

Evon Kashat, a Metro Detroit mom, said it all comes down to prioritizing and using realistic routines to help you be present in the moment, wherever you are, including at work, at church or out to dinner.

“Wherever you are, be all there and make it count,” Kashat said. “There are 24 hours in a day, so use it wisely. Your kids will notice and praise your presence, and you will keep unnecessary stuff at bay when you’re where you need to be, which is sometimes some personal time or laying back and doing nothing at all.”

Don’t do it alone
As mothers, we have a natural instinct to do it all just as our mothers seemingly did before us. However, with more women working– some even more hours than men–help is becoming more and more necessary. Of course we would all prefer family to watch our children, but since this isn’t always realistic, I’d definitely recommend finding childcare providers you trust; there are even gyms that offer it! Also, if you have the means, there’s nothing wrong with hiring a cleaning lady, utilizing grocery delivery services or taking what may feel like “shortcuts” if it means making you feel happy and less overwhelmed.

“It’s the hardest thing in the world, but it’s also an amazing thing to set the example for your child,” Barnes said. “Don’t try and do it all without asking for help. There’s no award.”