The Importance of Grandparents
By Nora Hanna
When we hear the words “Nana,” “Youma,” “Baba,” or “Jiddou,” we feel an overwhelming sense of warmth. The comfort, compassion, and love grandparents give to their families is unparalleled. In the Chaldean home, grandparents act as keepers of culture and tellers of stories. Frequently the last of the family who lived in the motherland, they pass down sayings and recipes to their children and grandchildren.
The role of the grandmother (Nana) is one of guidance. Often, they watch the children while the parents go to work. They provide traditional meals and teach the language and culture. I’ve watched my mother, a grandmother of 5, make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her grandchildren. “It gives me purpose,” she says. Spending a day making takhratha is nothing compared to the joy of watching her 4-year-old granddaughter scarf it down. Instead of Cocomelon playing on the TV, we hear folk music or singing of lullabies in Sourith or Neo-Aramaic.
As the grandchildren grow, we watch the grandmother-grandchild relationship develop as well. The child goes from eating the meals to assuming the family recipes. Nana’s “sour to spice ratio” in the dolma or the special spice in the kulacha has now become tradition. In the traditional Chaldean household, a grandmother is held in great honor. The way we remember our grandmother’s memory is to keep these nuances alive.
Our grandfathers act as advisors. They teach young Chaldean men and women essential skills, such as the value of hard work, respect, and even gardening. They are the confidant of the family and the keepers of our name. I recall my husband’s grandfather being the head of the family; with 8 children, he moved his family from Iraq to the United States. He had no education or prior exposure to the English language and was able to not only raise a family but do it successfully.
To this day, each grandchild recalls a special memory with their Baba. This older, stern man sang folk songs at each grandchild’s wedding. A butcher by trade, he would sit down the family at Easter and Christmas and share stories of his trade; how he drove from village to village and place to place and shared his encounters along the way. Unbeknownst to him, this story telling acted as cultural preservation. Learning about the family name, trade, great-grandparents, traditions, and exposure to the culture acted as a means to preserve the Chaldean heritage.
Notably, the main exposure Chaldean grandchildren have to Sourith or Neo-Aramaic nowadays comes from the grandparents. As parents, we spend our days speaking English at work, school, or with one another. We have come to rely on our parents, or the grandparents, to be the keepers of the language. We look to the elders at weddings to sing folk music. We look to Nana to teach our children what a khaboosha (apple) is or what maya (water) is. When our children pray “Our Father” in the same tongue that Jesus spoke, we can attribute that to our grandparents.
A grandchild’s first cross, first prayer, and blessings generally come from the Chaldean grandparents. They attend church on Sunday, funeral masses, wedding ceremonies, and teach us the power of group prayer. Our grandparents show us the beauty and blessings of being Chaldean and having the ability to pray like Jesus prayed; to worship our Lord in Aramaic.
So, grandparents act as keepers of the faith as well. Above all else, our grandparents are the glue of the family. Easter, Christmas, weddings, and other events center around our grandparents. They bring the family together; they remind us to pray, to slow down and enjoy one another. They are a constant reminder that life is short. Chaldean grandparents keep bonds strong. They share their knowledge, wisdom, and support the family above all else. Let us live life in memory of our grandparents and cherish them while we are still able.
Grandparents Day is September 12. This year, let’s make sure they know how important they are to all of us.
Nora Hanna is a lawyer, wife and mother who knows we owe our parents and grandparents everything.