The Spontaneity of Love

Beshar Shukri and Tammy Demelo.

By Beshar Shukri

In my first article published in October 2023, I wrote about dating as a Chaldean in America and discussed how dating has evolved from the village days until now. At the time, I was single and ready to use new methods offered by our community to find a suitable partner, like speed dating or personalized matchmaking. Less than a month after the article was published, however, I found that special person and committed myself to a relationship with her.

“Spontaneous” means something sudden or undetermined. That is how my first encounter felt with Tammy. Up to that point, I believed that I would go on more speed dates, talk to more women, and eventually find someone compatible. Love, however, doesn’t follow a straight path. I’ve heard many cliches in the past, like, “When you stop looking for it, you will find her,” or, “Once you know, you’ll know.” At the time, I considered these sayings outdated. Maybe they were true at one point, but not in today’s world. I laugh now as I understand them in a much deeper way.

How did I meet this special lady? Well, if you’re serious about God and you want to find a wife, the best place to look is at church. That’s where I met Tammy. A friend of mine was going to be ordained as a minister, so I visited his church and I happened to sit next to this wonderful woman. She caught my attention with her good looks and her methodical notetaking during the sermon. I knew then that I needed to meet her. My friend knew her and promised to introduce us. Weeks later, he hosted a large group to a game night at his house. I arrived, enjoyed casual conversation with Tammy, and we exchanged contact information. We started talking the next day and haven’t stopped since.

Now, 3 months later, the spontaneity continues. Due to her line of work as a nail salon manager in West Bloomfield, she has a lot of Chaldean clients. I found out that Tammy already knew some of my aunts and has known one of my first cousins for nine years. Though she is not Chaldean, she was treated like family when I brought her around. The more time we spent together, the more we realized how many people in common we know. It feels like we already knew one another and were waiting to cross paths. Tammy spent 5 years and I spent 7 years praying for the moment that God would bring us together. Though the time we spent praying felt long, it made us appreciate the relationship we have that much more.

My only advice or word of encouragement would be this: Time spent looking for the right one will only make the spontaneity of love that much more enjoyable. Happy Valentines Day!