Address the Stress
Mental health and the holidays
BY Crystal Kassab Jabiro
According to the National Alliance of Mental Illness, 3 in 5 Americans report that the holidays negatively impact their mental health. Despite the celebratory spirit, family conflicts, financial strain, and loneliness can magnify the stress people who struggle with mental health experience during the holidays.
Martin Tobia, LMSW, a social worker and mental health clinician from Macomb Township, works one-on-one with people who wrestle with their psychological health. Experienced in interpersonal psychotherapy, the 34-year-old Tobia claims that grief and loss—like the death of a loved one or divorce—are major stressors at this time and can bring back painful memories and a lot of emotional turmoil.
“There is this societal expectation of what’s normal, like a Hallmark movie scenario where everyone is happy and opening presents together, when the reality for some people is that there is family drama,” Tobia asserts.
For those experiencing grief and loss, the festive season is a reminder that a significant part of their lives is not there, prompting strong and raw emotions to appear again. Tobia explains, “Some people have unfair expectations of what the holidays should be, which could lead to frustration towards themselves and others for not meeting what holidays should represent.”
For people with mental health issues, Tobia suggests stress-management techniques that include understanding what your stress looks like, determining the root of the problem, prioritizing your well-being, and accepting the help you need from a trusted loved one or a professional.
Tobia insists there is no difference in how much stress men and women alike can take and that everyone has their breaking point. He compared therapy to the upkeep of a car. “Just like getting a car serviced, you have to get your mind serviced,” he said. “Think of it as an emotional maintenance session where you get those contents under pressure out once in a while.”
The cultural stigma around mental health prevents many Chaldeans from getting the help they need. The “aab,” or “shame,” of mental illness continues to permeate through the community. Some people fear what others think or how it will affect the family. However, many people are starting to see the benefits, especially with the support of Chaldean mental health practitioners like Tobia, who understand the community’s cultural norms and values.
Those seeking professional help should know about client confidentiality, where the clinician is sworn to keep the dialogue between the two unless that person is at risk of harming himself or herself or others. The clinician is a mandated reporter legally bound by their profession and the law to report cases of abuse, even if they are unsure.
When people become comfortable with addressing their stress, they experience improved mental and physical well-being, including reduced anxiety, better sleep, increased energy levels, enhanced focus, stronger relationships, and a lower risk of developing stress-related health issues; essentially, they feel calmer, more in control, and better equipped to handle life’s challenges. The holidays may not seem so bleak anymore, and they may start looking forward to celebrating again.
“Don’t let the old way of doing things hold you back,” Tobia advised. “We have to get rid of that ‘aab’ mentality.”
For more information on managing your mental health, visit the National Institute of Mental Health at www.nimh.nih.gov/health, the National Alliance on Mental Illness at www.nami.org, or contact your primary care physician.
Stress-Management Techniques for Dealing with Grief and Loss
1. Be aware of your stress.
Recognize what your stress looks like. Is it sleeplessness, irritability, or loss of appetite? Figure out what is exactly happening to you.
2. Identify your triggers.
What is causing your stress? Is it family dynamics? Breaking healthy habits? Money issues? Understand what situations or people cause strong emotional reactions in you so that you can proactively manage those emotions.
3. Practice self-care.
Participate in activities you enjoy. Find 3-5 activities you take pleasure in and turn to those when you are feeling frustrated and sad.
Get enough sleep, excercise, eat a balanced diet and avoid junk food.
4. Build your support team.
Make sure you have a group of people in your life that you can express your true self to, free from judgement. If this is hard for you, contact a professional to help guide you.